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Intuitively, I understand when you say, “You have to forget yourself in order to find yourself.” Even though I am truly working on being open to the unknown and letting go of the need to satisfy my ego, I find myself resisting. How can I overcome my resistance?
We all have resistance to the unknown because we fear the unknown. There are a lot of bad things lurking in the unknown as well, so this fear is not always irrational. The first thing to do is make a concrete list of things you would like to do that you are resisting. These should be actual goals, not a vague psychological wish list. Rather than “I want to be kinder” your list should say, “I want to visit my mother more often.” Once you have this list, begin actually doing those things that you resist doing.
If you are still having trouble, find a support group or create one to help you. As I often repeat, the path to transformation is made up of real life DECISIONS. Put yourself in play. Go against your habitual way of living. Get outside your box. Simply thinking about who you would like to be will not help. It is not what we say, think, or feel that transforms us. It is what we DO.
The best way to conquer stage fright is to just get up on the stage. And keep getting up there until you have transcended your fear. Above all start small. The longest of journey’s begins with a single step. Do one little thing TODAY that makes you uncomfortable and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Success will breed success and you’ll be amazed at your progress. I hope this helps and thanks for your question.
August Turak
What do I do?
Write down all the traits that represent the person you want to be. Next to each trait write down three things you are going to do each week for the next month. Repeat this process at the beginning of each month.
Don’t figure it out, find out:
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Make a concrete list of things (actual goals) you would like to do, but have been resisting. Read how Turak defines profit regardless of the type of organization and just as applicable to the individual.
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Make a commitment to find a group and/or enlist the help of those around you to make you accountable. Read how Turak consulted for a start-up company in New York that provides a mission that the employees believe in so much so, that it keeps them working 16 hour days.
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Put yourself in play to overcome your fears. Discover what Turak had at stake and what he lost by being dedicated to a higher mission and taking the transformational journey that turned him from a selfish to a selfless person.
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Take action now. Dan Pink makes a hardheaded, evidence-based case for rethinking how we run our businesses. Watch as he reveals the disconnect between what behavioral science knows and what business does.
What are the difficulties and distractions you come across as you move along your path to becoming who you want to be?